Things happen everyday that we cannot control.
We believe that many of those things rattle us.
I learned some time ago that it isn’t the circumstance that creates our experience.
It is our thinking about the circumstance that designs the experience we have with it.
I see this in my clients day-after-day.
- My employee doesn’t do their work. So I feel anger.
- My employee tells me they don’t like working for me. So I feel shame.
- My employees gossip. So I feel resentful.
- My boss doesn’t ask me about my personal life. So I feel unappreciated.
- We didn’t hit our goals. So I feel embarrassed.
- We’ve missed our target again this month. So I feel helpless.
- Other people won’t listen, do, say what I want them to say. So I feel powerless.
- They say things that are rude, disrespectful, hurtful. So I feel hurt.
I meet my clients in moments of challenge. I help them detangle their thinking from the circumstance.
Because the challenge is never the circumstance, the challenge always starts in our mind.
And, what I’ve come to learn, is that people who experience less challenge and less difficultly have one thing in common:
They believe in themselves, above all else.
- They know they will be fine.
- They know they can work through it.
- They know that what happens ‘out there’ doesn’t change who they are ‘in here’.
- They are confident that whatever changes occur, they can move through and on, in a way that is right for them.
- Their internal compass is strong and reliable and present.
- They trust themselves … first.
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you believe you can handle, work through,, redirect, refocus, recreate, reestablish, reinvent if you need to?
Can you watch others’ behavior and not take personal offense, but instead observe them with curiosity or even compassion?
Do you know that despite what others do or say, you will always figure out your own next, best steps?
Do you know who you want to be in any given moment?
Do you decide ahead of time how to engage, respond and act?
“I believe in myself.”
Is at the heart of succeeding in any circumstance.
When I believe in me, whatever happens ‘out there’ is just an experience. It doesn’t define me.
I can observe the circumstance with curiosity and interest, rather than personal offense, insult or fear.
When I don’t believe in myself, I waiver.
- I blame others for how I feel.
- I blame others for my circumstances.
- I don’t trust myself or others.
- I am easily affected by the words, actions or decisions of others.
When I don’t believe in myself, I experience everything as though it is happening TO me, rather than recognizing that circumstances are not personal.
The only thing that attaches me emotionally to a circumstance is my thinking about it. I consciously or unconsciously design my experience in my mind.
There is one voice with you all day. Your mind is speaking to you, second-to-second.
Notice the words your mind chooses.
Do you like them?
Do you like how your mind reacts?
The best way to begin to believe in yourself, is to pay attention to your own chatter.
What thoughts do you chew on?
Are they helping you?
Do you feel good when you think them?
If not, actively supervise your mind.
Redirect your thoughts to ones that feel better and are believable.
You are always in control of how you interact with the circumstances of your life.
You are the owner of where you are right now.
Regardless of what your team or your boss or your clients or your spouse or your kids, come up with to say or do today, you will be fine.
If you choose to be.
Believe in yourself.
Know that you can.
And if you need a little help, I made you a MANAGER PEP TALK podcast, to help you get your mind right before navigating a conversation or situation that you believe will be difficult. Keep it handy to listen to when you need it 🙂 Check it out here.
I’ve changed up The Core. I think you’ll like it.
Now, there’s just one participant level.
It’s either $79 per month or $900 for the year.
AND I’m offering bi-monthly LIVE, group coaching workshops!!
We just had our first coaching workshop and it-was-a-blast. We talked about how to coach a difficult person and how to create/set up proper expectations for a new position, so the BEST hire is made for the role.
My goal is to do everything I can to help you navigate the challenges that come with leading and managing others. I know I can help you, so I’m inviting you to engage with me at a deeper level, so you can get more support and tools!
Our next Coaching Workshop call is scheduled for April 6th. I would SO LOVE to see you there!