I’m just back from attending The Life Coach School’s annual Coaches’ Mastermind.
To say that it was powerful is an understatement.
I have so many powerful nuggets to share, that I don’t know where to start!
Thomas Sterner, author of The Practicing Mind spoke for FIVE HOURS!
He gave us a lot of brilliant insights into performance and goals and success and PRACTICE.
While everything he said was brilliant, I think what landed most was this:
“Our interpretation creates our experience.”
Whatever we believe about our circumstances will drive the experience we have.
If we believe something is hard to do, it will be.
If we believe someone is difficult to work with, we will find them to be.
Our interpretation is our business… We get to decide what we want to believe AND who we want to be in that experience.
All-too-often we have experiences in the world and we believe that the reason WE acted a certain way, is because of how OTHER people were behaving.
But, what’s really happening is that other people behave in a certain way, we define that in our mind and then we interact with them according to our own interpretation.
As leaders, I always believe we are called upon to do better.
We have a presence. Do we know what it is?
We leave a wake behind. Do we know what it is?
We have the ability to notice ourselves in our interactions with others. Do we?
Our thinking, our interpretation of our experiences and our behaviors.
He talked about how we all have struggles.
And those struggles are brought about by triggers.
So if we want to better handle our struggles, we need to create a “procedure” that we will follow to better handle the trigger and ensuing struggle.
What do you struggle with?
- Difficult conversations?
- Employees who don’t perform?
- Achieving your team goals?
- Being impatient?
Our struggles appear very real and are well practiced.
And we each experience triggers that ‘light up’ the struggle.
A trigger may be an employee getting defensive when you’re discussing performance. What could be the procedure, you prepare in advance, to deal with this trigger?
Another trigger may be an employee who asks too many questions and so you get really impatient. What could be the procedure, you prepare in advance, to deal with this trigger?
Instead of simply reacting to our interpretation of the trigger, why not have a procedure that creates a RESPONSE, rather than a REACTION?
So, what do you struggle with?
What are your triggers?
Take a moment to design a procedure for yourself to implement the next time you encounter the trigger. Make it a game (as Sterner says). See how well you can follow your own procedure.
When you do, you’ll find that you remove the drama; you remove the emotion of the moment and you CREATE an experience for yourself by your own design!
I see that as an incredible demonstration of leadership.